Biden Robot Invented Just in Time for Debates (Satire)

5Mind. The Meme Platform

The Biden campaign is proud to announce that it’s invented a lifelike Joe Biden robot with the help of a Chinese A.I. company. The six-foot-tall “Biden 2.0” model is equipped with an integrated memory circuit that will store data and — you guessed it! — hold memory.

A DNC spokesperson praised the new Biden brain, explaining that this time around, the chip will not hold its memory temporarily, in the same way your standard random-access memory (RAM) would. Instead, the Biden 2.0 will process and store all data in permanent, read-only memory (ROM) fashion.

The Biden robot’s data will be continually updated with direct input from DNC intelligence, whether it be new hoaxes in addition to the “fine people hoax” or preparatory debate questions from friendly reporters. Of course, the 2.0 model will have intense firewalling to shield against any Russian interference that could modify policy formation.

The first public appearance of the Biden bot will be on a CNBC interview. If all goes well, that will be followed by September’s first presidential debate. Ironically, on his last CNBC interview, the real Biden said, “I’m going to beat Joe Biden.” With the Biden 2.0 replacement, that line will definitely be fitting.

Miniature Biden 2.0 toy robots will soon be available online, complete with remote controls, sound effects, and shampoo-sensing technology. Order one for your child today so you can watch his delight as he zooms Mini Biden 2.0 your way, shouting, “Our best days still lie ahead!

Originally published on American Thinker

Contact Your Elected Officials
B. Miller
B. Miller
B. Miller is a writer of Conservative opinion and satire.

Is Believing Seeing?

What if believing in something is not simply the result of seeing it, but the very mechanism that allows it to be seen in the first place?

‘Schools’ Out’

Alice Cooper's biggest hit could be a clarion call for U.S. public education, "Schools Out" because parents are choosing new options.

Fat Propaganda Roundup: Oprah’s Triumph

The vicious jihad that Oprah Winfrey has waged against her own corpulent body mass has concluded, with the pop culture icon as the undisputed victor.

Trump’s SCOTUS “Foreign Interests” Comment Explained

We've addressed claims Trump’s tariffs were illegal, but not his accusation that court members are influenced by foreign interests.

The Party Of Hate Is Unleashing Political Violence

Sec. Scott Bessent placed blame for violence against President Trump squarely on the Democrat Party who are “normalizing this violence. It’s got to stop.”

Trump Orders Federal Agencies to Cease All Use of Anthropic Tech

War Secretary Pete Hegseth directed the Department of War...

Bill Clinton says he had ‘no idea’ of Epstein’s crimes during closed-door deposition

Former President Bill Clinton is telling the House Oversight Committee that he had "no idea" of Jeffrey Epstein's crimes at his deposition in Chappaqua, NY.

Federal Judge Rules IRS Illegally Shared Taxpayer Data With ICE

A federal judge on Feb. 26 ruled that the IRS acted illegally by disclosing taxpayer information to Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE).

Netflix Abandons Warner Bros. Bid; Paramount Set to Take Over

Netflix Inc. will walk away from its proposal to buy Warner Bros Discovery after declining to match Paramount Skydance’s latest offer.

10 Memorable Moments From Trump’s State of the Union Address

President Trump delivered the longest SOYU address in recorded U.S. history, punctuating it with emotional moments and real-life stories to illustrate policy.

Vance Announces New Phase of Fraud Investigations, Withholds $259 Million in Medicaid Funds From Minnesota

VP JD Vance announced new anti-fraud efforts during a press conference with Dr. Mehmet Oz, CMS administrator, targeting waste and abuse.

Trump Proposes New Retirement Account for US Workers Without 401(k) Access

During his State of the Union, President Trump proposed a new retirement program giving Americans without 401(k)s access to savings accounts.

Trump Hails ‘Turnaround for the Ages’ in State of the Union

President Trump delivers first second-term State of the Union, touting economic gains and saying his America First agenda is working for Americans.
spot_img

Related Articles

Popular Categories

MAGA Business Central