Biden Robot Invented Just in Time for Debates (Satire)

5Mind. The Meme Platform

The Biden campaign is proud to announce that it’s invented a lifelike Joe Biden robot with the help of a Chinese A.I. company. The six-foot-tall “Biden 2.0” model is equipped with an integrated memory circuit that will store data and — you guessed it! — hold memory.

A DNC spokesperson praised the new Biden brain, explaining that this time around, the chip will not hold its memory temporarily, in the same way your standard random-access memory (RAM) would. Instead, the Biden 2.0 will process and store all data in permanent, read-only memory (ROM) fashion.

The Biden robot’s data will be continually updated with direct input from DNC intelligence, whether it be new hoaxes in addition to the “fine people hoax” or preparatory debate questions from friendly reporters. Of course, the 2.0 model will have intense firewalling to shield against any Russian interference that could modify policy formation.

The first public appearance of the Biden bot will be on a CNBC interview. If all goes well, that will be followed by September’s first presidential debate. Ironically, on his last CNBC interview, the real Biden said, “I’m going to beat Joe Biden.” With the Biden 2.0 replacement, that line will definitely be fitting.

Miniature Biden 2.0 toy robots will soon be available online, complete with remote controls, sound effects, and shampoo-sensing technology. Order one for your child today so you can watch his delight as he zooms Mini Biden 2.0 your way, shouting, “Our best days still lie ahead!

Originally published on American Thinker

Contact Your Elected Officials
B. Miller
B. Miller
B. Miller is a writer of Conservative opinion and satire.

Sadly, Minnesota has become a battleground, once again

Minnesota is again a battleground. Five years after George Floyd protests, demonstrators now target ICE agents enforcing the law.

Stolen Land or Stolen Context?: What We Are No Longer Teaching Our Children

To assess whether “stolen land” is accurate, we must examine how U.S. land was acquired — historically, not emotionally or rhetorically.

Repeal the National Childhood Vaccine Injury Act: The Original Petition

In 1986, Congress granted vaccine makers unique legal protections, shielding them from most lawsuits over injuries caused by vaccines.

Bad Bunny’s Legal Troubles Coming

The NFL and NBC’s “Big Game” halftime show featuring Bad Bunny has ignited controversy, unleashing a wave of backlash and unexpected fallout for all involved.

Cruising into March Madness

At the U.S. Naval Academy, optimism is forged through discipline. This season, Navy men’s basketball has turned it into a historic Patriot League run.

DOJ Asks Prosecutors to Flag ‘Rogue’ Judges for Impeachment

The DOJ asked federal prosecutors nationwide to identify examples of what it calls “judicial activism” for possible impeachment referrals to Congress.

Kraft Heinz Pauses Split as New CEO Says Packaged Foods Giant Is ‘Fixable’

Kraft Heinz is pausing plans to split into two companies as new CEO Steve Cahillane says its problems are “fixable and within our control.”

Marxist Network Under Scrutiny as Lawmakers Probe Chinese Influence

Lawmakers scrutinized a Marxist-aligned network with ties to a pro-Beijing millionaire over potential Chinese Communist connections.

US Economy Adds 130,000 New Jobs, Unemployment Rate Dips to 4.3 Percent

The U.S. economy created 130,000 new jobs in January, suggesting employment conditions could be improving following months of a sluggish labor market.

Trump Warns Republicans Will ‘Suffer the Consequences’ If They Vote Against Tariffs

President Trump warned GOP lawmakers they’ll face consequences if they oppose his tariff agenda after some sided with Democrats on a measure.

Trump Orders Military to Purchase Electricity From Coal-Fueled Power Plants

President Donald Trump signed an executive order on Feb. 11 directing the U.S. military to purchase its power from coal-fired electricity plants.

Trump Says Meeting With Netanyahu Yields No Definitive Agreement on Iran

President Trump hosted Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu at the White House on Feb. 11 amid ongoing tensions with Iran over its nuclear program.

Why Canada’s China Pivot Makes US Tariff Relief Harder

Analysts say Ottawa’s Beijing outreach is raising new security and trade concerns in Washington—making U.S. tariff relief even harder to secure.
spot_img

Related Articles