Biden Robot Invented Just in Time for Debates (Satire)

Contact Your Elected Officials

The Biden campaign is proud to announce that it’s invented a lifelike Joe Biden robot with the help of a Chinese A.I. company. The six-foot-tall “Biden 2.0” model is equipped with an integrated memory circuit that will store data and — you guessed it! — hold memory.

A DNC spokesperson praised the new Biden brain, explaining that this time around, the chip will not hold its memory temporarily, in the same way your standard random-access memory (RAM) would. Instead, the Biden 2.0 will process and store all data in permanent, read-only memory (ROM) fashion.

The Biden robot’s data will be continually updated with direct input from DNC intelligence, whether it be new hoaxes in addition to the “fine people hoax” or preparatory debate questions from friendly reporters. Of course, the 2.0 model will have intense firewalling to shield against any Russian interference that could modify policy formation.

The first public appearance of the Biden bot will be on a CNBC interview. If all goes well, that will be followed by September’s first presidential debate. Ironically, on his last CNBC interview, the real Biden said, “I’m going to beat Joe Biden.” With the Biden 2.0 replacement, that line will definitely be fitting.

Miniature Biden 2.0 toy robots will soon be available online, complete with remote controls, sound effects, and shampoo-sensing technology. Order one for your child today so you can watch his delight as he zooms Mini Biden 2.0 your way, shouting, “Our best days still lie ahead!

Originally published on American Thinker

B. Miller
B. Miller
B. Miller is a writer of Conservative opinion and satire.

The Kirk Assassination Narrative is Falling Apart

New footage challenges the FBI’s claim that Tyler Robinson shot Charlie Kirk from a UVU rooftop with a .30-06 rifle, casting doubt on the official narrative.

A self-inflicted wound

Leftist propaganda from media, unions, bureaucrats, and schools has indoctrinated the marginalized with an idealized view of socialism and communism.

Katie Porter Syndrome: Toxic Feminism 101

“Katie Porter Syndrome” is a pathology inflicted upon Congressional staffers, the media, and, if the patient gets herself elected governor, all of CA.

The Unique European Social Contract: Effectiveness Over Values

American conservatives often ground their political stances on social issues. The European conversation centers on an effectiveness assessment.

Trump’s Middle East Triumph is Worth Celebrating Even As Peace Remains Elusive 

President Trump’s bold foreign policy defies globalist appeasement, showcasing unwavering American strength and decisive leadership on the world stage.

Trump Set to Become 4th President to Address Israel’s Parliament–What to Know

‘The visit of the U.S. president ... is accompanied by great emotion and expectation,’ an Israeli Ministry of Defense official said.

Supreme Court Won’t Hear Project Veritas Challenge to State Law Blocking Secret Recording

U.S. Supreme Court declined to hear a First Amendment challenge from investigative journalism group against Oregon’s ban on secret recordings.

Katie Porter Syndrome: Toxic Feminism 101

“Katie Porter Syndrome” is a pathology inflicted upon Congressional staffers, the media, and, if the patient gets herself elected governor, all of CA.

Biden Undergoing Radiation, Hormone Treatment for Prostate Cancer

Former President Biden has begun receiving a combination of radiation and hormone treatments for prostate cancer, spokesperson announced.

Trump Names Longtime Adviser Dan Scavino to Key Personnel Position

One of President Trump’s longtime advisers, Dan Scavino, is going to be in charge of selecting and appointing key positions within the executive branch.

First Lady’s Effort Helped Reunite 8 War-Displaced Children With Their Families

First lady Melania Trump said 8 children impacted by the fighting between Ukraine and Russia were reunited with their families on Oct. 9.

Trump Admin Agrees to $20 Billion Rescue Plan for Argentina

The U.S. government has finalized a $20 billion economic rescue plan for Argentina, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent announced on Oct. 9.

Trump Says He May Invoke Insurrection Act in Portland If Necessary

President Donald Trump on Oct. 6 said he may consider invoking the Insurrection Act in Portland, Oregon, if necessary.
spot_img

Related Articles

Popular Categories

MAGA Business Central