Biden Robot Invented Just in Time for Debates (Satire)

5Mind. The Meme Platform

The Biden campaign is proud to announce that it’s invented a lifelike Joe Biden robot with the help of a Chinese A.I. company. The six-foot-tall “Biden 2.0” model is equipped with an integrated memory circuit that will store data and โ€” you guessed it! โ€” hold memory.

A DNC spokesperson praised the new Biden brain, explaining that this time around, the chip will not hold its memory temporarily, in the same way your standard random-access memory (RAM) would. Instead, the Biden 2.0 will process and store all data in permanent, read-only memory (ROM) fashion.

The Biden robot’s data will be continually updated with direct input from DNC intelligence, whether it be new hoaxes in addition to the “fine people hoax” or preparatory debate questions from friendly reporters. Of course, the 2.0 model will have intense firewalling to shield against any Russian interference that could modify policy formation.

The first public appearance of the Biden bot will be on a CNBC interview. If all goes well, that will be followed by September’s first presidential debate. Ironically, on his last CNBC interview, the real Biden said, “I’m going to beat Joe Biden.” With the Biden 2.0 replacement, that line will definitely be fitting.

Miniature Biden 2.0 toy robots will soon be available online, complete with remote controls, sound effects, and shampoo-sensing technology. Order one for your child today so you can watch his delight as he zooms Mini Biden 2.0 your way, shouting, “Our best days still lie ahead!

Originally published on American Thinker

Contact Your Elected Officials
B. Miller
B. Miller
B. Miller is a writer of Conservative opinion and satire.

A Defining Moment: Will Populist Promises Collapse New York City?

New York City elected a candidate promising rent freezes, free transit, universal childcare, and higher corporate taxesโ€”pledges that may clash with fiscal reality.

Child-Diddling Migrant Invokes Curious โ€˜I Thought She Was My Wifeโ€™ Defense

Convicted of groping a sleeping schoolgirl on a flight, Javed Inamdar offered bizarre defenses that made O.J. Simpsonโ€™s glove excuse seem credible.

Whatโ€™s The Real Reason Why The Economist Wants Europe To Spend $400 Billion More On Ukraine?

The Economist urges Europeโ€™s elites to fund Ukraineโ€™s $390B recovery, arguing itโ€™s cheaper than facing the costs of inaction over the next four years.

Fourth and funded: The business of buyouts

Through week ten of the college football season, the ledger on what universities owe their former coaches in buyouts was nearly $185 million.ย 

Deflating Portland: Why Antifa Went from Black Blok to Inflatable Costumes

Antifa's transformation from militant to mascot is so absurd it's almost comedic. Yet beneath the humor lies something calculated. Itโ€™s all about optics.

ICE Arrests 1,505 Alleged Criminal Aliens in New Texas Operation

ICE authorities in Houston arrested 1,505 alleged criminals, including illegal immigrants, transnational gang members, foreign fugitives, and other offenders.

Muskโ€™s $1 Trillion Pay Package Is Due for a Vote on Thursday. Hereโ€™s What to Know

Tesla shareholders are set to vote Thursday on a proposed pay package for Elon Musk that could potentially make him the worldโ€™s first trillionaire.

Moderna Projects Lower Revenue in 2025 Due to Flagging COVID-19 Vaccine Sales

Moderna on Nov. 6 revised its revenue projections for 2025 after third-quarter sales plummeted from a year prior.

Trump Admin Must Fully Fund Food Stamps for November: Judge

The Trump administration must pay the approximately $9 billion to fully fund food stamps for November, a federal judge ruled on Nov. 6.

Trump to Host Central Asian Leaders as US Shores Up Critical Mineral Supply

President Trump is hosting Central Asian leaders at the White House on Nov. 6, amid fast-tracked efforts to de-risk supply chains from China.

Trump Drafting Executive Order on Election Integrity After Alleging Ballot Fraud in California

White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt said an executive order is being drafted to strengthen U.S. elections and curb mail-in ballot fraud.

Trump Re-Nominates Jared Isaacman for NASA Administrator

Trailblazing civilian astronaut Jared Isaacman is once again President Donald Trumpโ€™s choice for NASAโ€™s administrator.

US Agencies Terminate 103 Wasteful Contracts With $4.4 Billion Ceiling Value: DOGE

Government agencies canceled 103 wasteful contracts worth $4.4 billion, saving $103 million in five days, according to the Department of Government Efficiency.
spot_img

Related Articles