Sometimes, opportunities for a fat paycheck — and a once-in-a-lifetime chance to do some good in the world — just have a way of falling into your lap.
A Cinderella-esque lady of apparent high society from the Ivory Coast, abused horribly by her step-mother and uncle, reached out to me via email with the kind offer to give me $3 million dollars if I would simply help her recover her father’s stolen inheritance.
“Hello Dear Greetings to you.
I am Marosa Ibrahim Coulibaly from Ivory Coast, My parents have died; my uncle is threatening to kill me because of the inheritance my father left for me, My late father was a well known Ivory Coast militia leader, He died on Thursday 28 April 2011 following a fight with the Republican Forces of Ivory Coast (FRCI). I am constrained to contact you because of the maltreatment which I am receiving from my step mother and my wicked uncle, you can read more about my late Father death through the below links:
It was very helpful of her here, this put-upon orphan of the highest integrity, to include a link to The Guardian, because otherwise I might have not been inclined to believe the true and tragic story of her lost fortune.
Continuing:
“Please, I need your sincere help. I have ($14,500,000.00 United States dollars) fourteen million five hundred thousand US dollars which I inherited from my late father, but he deposited the funds into a fixed deposit account in one of the prime bank in Burkina Faso in agreement with the bank to transfer the fund to a foreign bank account for investment overseas, but he died without transferring the fund.
My late father use my name as his only daughter and only child for the next of kin when he deposited the fund and the fund can only be transferred to a foreign bank account, All I need is your honesty as my foreign Partner and to help me invest the fund in your country and also help me to further my education in your country.
Please, if you fully accept to help me towards this purpose, kindly indicate your interest by writing me back, then I will provide you with the needful information on how to proceed I will give you 20% of the total fund for your help, after the transfer. Thank you for your concern.
Best regards from Marosa Ibrahim Coulibaly.”
20% of her total inheritance! Just for pushing a little paper around!
The magnanimity of humanity, at times, shines through at even the darkest hours of history.
Marosa and I, through our mutual struggle for justice, are now the best of friends, and she has assured me that my very generous reward for coming to her aid is in the mail, which I await eagerly.
Ben Bartee, author of Broken English Teacher: Notes From Exile, is an independent Bangkok-based American journalist with opposable thumbs.
Follow his stuff via Substack. Also, keep tabs via Twitter.
For hip Armageddon Prose t-shirts, hats, etc., peruse the merch store.
Support always welcome via the digital tip jar.
Bitcoin public address: bc1qvq4hgnx3eu09e0m2kk5uanxnm8ljfmpefwhawv
