A TRUTH UNIVERSALLY ACKNOWLEDGED
To this day, I’ve never met a woman who isn’t at least vaguely familiar with the story of Pride and Prejudice. The admiration for Jane Austen’s 1813 novel is staggering. You can shop for Pride and Prejudice playsets for babies, socks sporting quotes from the book, and Mr. Darcy candles. One 51-year-old woman took it a step further and watched the 2005 movie 278 times in one year. Plus, there’s the controversy over which film version is better. But I’m not here to compare the performances of Keira Knightley and Jennifer Ehle.
All this obsession is problematic because it strips away the message of Pride and Prejudice, until all we’re left with is the regency and the romance. The story is widely loved and highly influential. But why should it be so influential, especially for the modern-day woman?
For those who haven’t read the book or seen the movie, perhaps you feel the novel’s key words are balls, gossip, and society. Far from it. Instead, through the flaws of the characters, we learn about honor, propriety, and amending one’s faults. The plot is human nature, not human antics. It upholds biblical precepts, especially those pertaining to purity, manhood, and womanhood.
WHAT’S THE STORYLINE AGAIN?
Before we dive into the lessons of Pride and Prejudice, here’s a refresher on the story: Middle-class Elizabeth Bennet is snubbed by the wealthy and seemingly proud Mr. Darcy. She’s drawn to likeable Mr. Wickham instead, but later realizes her judgment of his character is defective. When Darcy proposes to Elizabeth, she emphatically rejects him. Eventually Darcy realizes his pride has been a problem and makes an effort to change, while Elizabeth realizes she’s been misinformed about Darcy’s character and harshly misjudged him.
Obviously, the heroine is Elizabeth “Lizzy” Bennet. She stands out in her era because she’s unafraid to speak her mind, and is interested in marrying for love. She is observant and critical of character, often correct in what she assumes. Yet she makes incorrect assumptions of Darcy and Wickham because of their manners. Later she admits, “One has got all the goodness, and the other all the appearance of it” (Austen, chapter 40).
THE PRIDE AND THE PREJUDICE
Elizabeth’s and Darcy’s relationship was complicated because both were guilty of pride and prejudice. Lizzy was proud of her discernment of character. She was prejudiced toward the better-mannered man (Wickham). Darcy was proud of his status. He was prejudiced against those of little fortune, lack of decorum, and undesirable connections (namely, the Bennets). While Lizzy’s pride blinded her to Darcy’s good points and his love for her, Darcy’s pride blinded him to the fact that a woman whom he considered lesser than he in rank and fortune would turn down his proposal of marriage.
Change comes into the picture when Darcy and Elizabeth each choose to reflect on their deeds and actions. Darcy is willing to change because of Lizzy’s rebuke, despite her rejecting his proposal. She’s willing to see that change in him, growing to respect, then love, him. They would both regret, however, the wasted time of arguments in their relationship, an aspect that is rare in many romance stories. “[I abused] you so abominably to your face,” Lizzy later mourned to Darcy (Austen, chapter 58).
LESSONS FROM DARCY AND LIZZY
Here’s the million-dollar-question. Exactly what does Pride and Prejudice have to teach us today? First, the story reminds of us of the joy found when romance is pursued with purity, in direct contrast with the flirtatious, head-over-heels thing which fits the world’s definition of love. Darcy’s and Lizzy’s romance blossoms wholesomely (though stormily), with the attraction focusing on true love.
Second, the book demonstrates that a teachable spirit is better than a critical one. Lizzy proved teachable because she was willing to amend her faults. “It is particularly incumbent on those who never change their opinion, to be secure of judging properly at first,” she rebuked Darcy, which she was later guilty of doing herself (Austen, chapter 18). We should be willing to reflect on what others tell us, and change.
Third, we’re reminded that our opinions should be voiced respectfully (gulp). Lizzy was a good judge of character. Confident that she correctly read Darcy, she told him what she thought of him, unfortunately failing to include gentleness in her rebuke. This is a practical example of how a woman’s words can hurt a man. At the end of the story, Darcy quotes back to Lizzy, word for word, what she said to him. He hadn’t forgotten.
Fourth, let’s admit it. We women are often swayed by externals (a main theme of Pride and Prejudice). In other words, it’s easy to value the attractive, likeable people and be turned off by personalities that appear repulsive. Physical factors can so forcefully camouflage character, we get sidetracked thinking that’s all that matters. A handsome man with a nice personality can be a distraction, as Lizzy realized with Wickham.
Fifth, a woman should respond to a man’s chivalry with appreciation. Back in the era, a gentleman would treat a woman respectfully whether she was his sister, sweetheart, or a complete stranger. Darcy’s friend Mr. Bingley showed consistent kindness and gallantry to all – including the obnoxious Bennets. Our times, which culturally sneer at chivalry, no longer promise this. But we ladies are delighted when men are chivalrous, and women should respond with appreciation.
THE ADMIRABLE CONCLUSION
Although we live in rapidly changing times, our Creator’s definition of manhood and womanhood hasn’t changed, nor did He create it to change. Sure, we ladies might have swapped the Empire-waist dresses for distressed jeans, but human nature hasn’t changed. We can still learn these lessons. I think there is nothing so attractive as a woman who exercises grace, gentleness, and modesty. And I’m grateful to Jane Austen for illustrating this through her beloved novel.
