Rosie O’Donnell vs. Her Therapist

Speaking with Nicole Wallace, former George W. Bush propagandist and current MSNBC propagandist — living proof there’s no real difference at the highest levels of the bipartisan establishment duopoly — Rosie O’Donnell, who now lives a life of luxury in Ireland, comfortably removed from any of the very real hardships plaguing the working and middle classes that she pretends to care about, relays that her therapist attempted to artfully introduce to her client the possibility that her outrage might be performative.

It didn’t take.

What amount of money could justify helping Rosie O’Donnell dig the overflowing skeletons out of her closet?

Related: Liberal Banshees, Distraught Over Election Results, Convene to Scream at Lake Michigan

Subjecting oneself to this psychotic human marshmallow’s neuroticisms for hours on end in an enclosed space simply can’t be good for one’s own mental health.

My grandfather worked as a handyman at the Topeka VA for decades, in the course of which he made many friends on the job. One of them, a psychiatrist at the facility, confided in my grandpappy that, while his patients elaborated on their personal demons, he would often find himself not listening at all but rather going over his grocery shopping list in his mind while feigning rapt attention.

While perhaps not in keeping with ethical standards, letting the mind wander while the patient blows off steam seems like the only real way to maintain one’s sanity in that line of work in the long run — especially, and above all, if your client is Rosie O’Donnell, queen of the rage-filled misandrist lesbians.

In a separate podcast — apparently she’s a captivating guest for #Resistance wine moms — Rosie declared that Trump is scared of her because she’s a “strong woman.”

Imagine the house of horrors contained in Rosie’s therapist’s notes!

Any shrink worth her salt (to the extent the psychiatry profession is worth anything) would surely have diagnosed her within the first session with delusions of grandeur, characterized by “unreasonable or untrue beliefs about your importance, abilities, or status.”

Related: Poll: Liberal Women Experience Worst Mental Health of All Demographics

In my experience, lifelong fuglies — and this isn’t a moral category; we all have limited control over our physical appearance — typically go one of two ways: they’re either sweet as the dickens so as to compensate for their aesthetic unseemliness, and bless their hearts for that, or they turn into antisocial goblins with chips on their shoulders the size of Montana.

Rosie O’Donnell, unfortunately, took the latter route.

Sad!

On a final note, let’s not live in denial about the origins of Rosie’s seething TDS, which has nothing at all to do with her performative sympathy for Medicaid recipients and everything to do with Trump’s most viral debate line of the 2015 election cycle.