“He/him.” “She/Her”. “They/them.” We’ve all seen these pronouns attached to social media profiles. We’ve even started seeing them attached to professional profiles on company and academic websites. We’ve heard them being used when someone introduces themselves, saying something along the lines of, “My name is… My pronouns are…” According to LGBTQIA+ advocates, this is a statement of individual identity, especially for individuals who are transgender, and it has been gradually adopted throughout social circles, especially those on the political left. It has become such a movement in recent years that misusing someone’s pronouns is considered discriminatory or abusive, and some places have even tried (and succeeded) in making “misgendering” someone a hate crime. Essentially, if a person tells you their pronouns, and you use the wrong one or one that is contradictory to what they’ve stated, then you are misgendering them and are guilty of transgender discrimination.
This… is… insanity. And I don’t mean because of the contentious issues surrounding the transgender arguments on either side of the aisle of whether gender is fluid or not. It’s insanity because pronouns are not a form of identity. They’re not personal. They’re not even relatable. They’re a third person form of reference utilized by one individual to another person regarding an entirely different person, who, generally speaking, isn’t even likely to be present when the pronoun is utilized.
Okay, since the majority of Americans who are advocating this nonsense have an average of a sixth-grade reading level, let me explain. And no, that wasn’t an insult. According to Cross River Therapy, the American literacy statistics show that approximately fifty-four percent of American adults have a reading level below sixth grade, while twenty-one percent are completely illiterate, so it’s no surprise that the majority of people using pronouns as a form of identity don’t know how to use it properly or may not even understand what a pronoun is.
Let’s say, as an example, that I’m talking to my friend Jessica about her new hairstyle. I’m not going to be addressing her directly by a pronoun, because it doesn’t make any sense unless she has a split personality that she is intimately aware of. I’m speaking to Jessica, not referring to Jessica. It might sound something like this:
“Jessica! Oh my God, I love your knew hair! I didn’t know you were going to dye it red and get it cut! It looks awesome! Where did you go to get it done?”
See? No pronouns. Not even a reference to a pronoun. It doesn’t matter if Jessica’s pronouns are “she/her”, “he/him”, “zhe/zhem”, or if Jessica identifies as a cat. If Jessica has given me pronouns to use, they’re completely irrelevant for a direct address.
Even if another person was there, and I was pointing out Jessica’s hairstyle, I still likely wouldn’t use a pronoun. If I was highlighting Jessica’s new hairstyle to my friend John, and both John and Jessica were there, it’s still unlikely that I’m going to use any pronouns as a reference. It might sound something like:
“Hey John! Did you see Jessica’s new haircut? It looks awesome, right? I love the red, and I want to know who cut it! What do you think?”
See? Again, no pronouns in one form of direct address or in reference to Jessica’s new hair with Jessica being present for the conversation. If Jessica has given me pronouns to utilize as part of an identity, they’re so far completely irrelevant. Jessica’s identity, whatever it may be, is completely irrelevant to inclusion in the conversation.
Now, if Jessica wasn’t present, and I was discussing the new hairstyle with John, then I have a choice to make, especially if I’ve been supplied the pronouns “he/him” to utilize.
Let’s say that my objective perspective is that Jessica is a female, with all the appropriate secondary sex-characteristics. My personal perspective, my objective reality, is that Jessica is a female, and therefore a woman. So, my reference to her might sound something like:
“Hey John, did you see Jessica’s new hair? She dyed it red and got it cut. I’d love to know where she got it done at!”
Uh-oh… According to social equity principles, I’ve now misgendered Jessica, especially if the pronouns I’m expected to use are “he/him”. According to Jessica, social justice warriors, LGBTQIA advocates, and even certain laws that have been proposed and actually passed, I have now discriminated against Jessica. What I should have said is:
“Hey John, did you see Jessica’s new hair. He dyed it red and got it cut. I’d love to know where he got it done at!”
This would have been the (supposedly) correct reference for Jessica if I was discussing the new hairstyle to John via a third person reference, especially if Jessica isn’t absent. To do otherwise is to deny Jessica’s truth and engage in discrimination or even hate speech, depending on who you’re talking to.
But… wait a minute… Jessica isn’t there. I’m not actually addressing this individual. I’m using a pronoun as a specific reference after using a proper noun to indicate who I was talking about to an entirely different individual.
Now this is important. In option one, I’m utilizing my perspective, my objective observations, and my rationale. In option two, I’m utilizing Jessica’s. In fact, I’m being forced to utilize Jessica’s perspective and personal truth. I’m being forced to utilize someone else’s perspective and individual truth at the expense of my own… This is a problem. Why?
According to experts, to include clinical psychologists, prominent sociologists, and others, sex is biological while gender is an expression of identity. It’s a belief about oneself, comprised entirely within that individual’s personal perspective. It is a fluid conceptualization about how a person feels. Jessica’s perspective about any internal feelings or personal truths may be valid in the first person, but that does not mean that I share them. In fact, I may feel that it is a complete absurdity. Jessica may identify in a certain way, but by demanding that I use specific pronouns as a form of reference absent Jessica’s presence, I am being forced to ignore my own perspectives, thoughts, and feelings in favor of those that I cannot identify with, cannot feel, and may not understand. I am, essentially, being forced to capitulate to Jessica’s emotional and psychological state, rather than my own.
Do you see the problem here? Through the demand for the application of an individual’s preferred pronouns as a form of reference regarding that person’s personal identity, feelings, and thoughts, my actions, my perspectives, and my own feelings are being controlled, even with that person not in attendance at the time or having no knowledge of the conversation, or even being able to be personally affected by the conversation!
Imagine if I said my pronouns were she/zhegrey. You’re speaking to a friend of yours about me. I am not there. Instead of utilizing my preferred pronouns, you referred to me as “he”. How do I know? How does it affect me, especially considering I have no knowledge of the conversation? How is my life, my person, my rationale, my psychological state, my mental health, my emotional well-being, or anything at all in my existence affected? Here’s a hint… nothing in my life is affected. One, because I have no knowledge of the conversation. Two, because if someone’s individual gender identity is indeed fluid and is a matter of personal feeling and expression, then someone else’s individual feeling and expression should have no bearing on my own identity. But that’s beside the point. The point is, by demanding that another individual adhere to my preferred pronouns in reference to me, I’m essentially trying to control their actions, their perspective, and what they say. What’s more, I’m attempting to control another person’s actions without their actions having any impact whatsoever on my present emotional state.
That… is… wrong!
Now, I know someone is going to say, “well, what if you found out about it tomorrow? That could be offensive.” True. But gender is fluid, apparently, and tomorrow instead of utilizing the pronouns he/zhegrey, I might identify as a “she/them.” Well, what a person referred to me as today means nothing tomorrow, because I know longer identify as the way I demanded they refer to me.
This is the other insanity of preferred pronouns. Because they’re fluid, because they’re part of an emotional state of expression, they can vary. They can change. This means that the reference I demanded a person use today may not be applicable tomorrow. Yet, with preferred pronouns, I’m demanding that they keep up with my personal identity. In such a scenario, I would actually be demanding that everyone who knows me, or knows of me, do the same. I’m demanding everyone check my daily emotional state before addressing me, referencing me, approaching me, or identifying me. This is unbearably conceited.
This is why the entire “preferred pronoun” argument is invalid, irrelevant, unworkable, completely arbitrary, and completely irrational. By demanding that someone utilize my preferred pronouns as a form of reference, I’m demanding control of their actions, their words, and in fact their very perspective. Another person’s perspective may be that I am a man (for future reference, I am a man and a male), yet by demanding that they refer to me as “she/her”, I’m invalidating their perspective, demanding they adhere to mine, and controlling their very rationale. On top of that, I’m actually demanding that the entire world capitulate to what I personally believe about myself, regardless of objective reality as well as social and biological classifications, and I can do it on a whim, on any day of the week, and even fifty-thousand times a day while still demanding everyone around me keep up.
From my personal perspective, anyone who tries to control the actions and perspectives of other individuals for the sake of their emotional well-being while demanding that the rest of the world document and adhere to their emotional state is incredibly narcissistic, emotional insecure, and screams to be the center of attention.
As a final note, to further highlight the sheer stupidity of preferred pronouns, if you reread this article, there was never a single pronoun used in reference to Jessica until the final two examples used to illustrate my choice to exercise my own perspective or to adhere to someone else’s. By utilizing literacy, grammar, as well as expanding my vocabulary beyond a Junior High School reading level, it was entirely possible to make several references without the utilization of pronouns at all, making them completely irrelevant even if the person in question had given me a set of preferred pronouns to adhere to…
By Burt Lafleur
