By implementing the policies of the radical environmental Left, President Joe Biden will become the historically transformative figure he believes he is. He will be the first prophet in humankind to cause the apocalypse, he predicts. William L. Kovacs
Predictions of apocalyptic events have been made since humankind created the calendar needed for assigning the year in which the apocalypse will occur. Predictions include an antichrist, the elimination of humanity and species, the end of the world, and judgment day, all from false prophets. The prediction that the end of the world will occur in twelve years if we don’t address climate change will likely happen but not from events caused by average humans or even high levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Instead, the apocalypse will be caused by the only entity on earth that usually causes an apocalypse – the federal government. Joe Biden, in biblical terms, believes the federal government is the vessel of god that can change the weather.
The climate hysterics describe a world full of disease, melting sea ice causing extreme worldwide flooding, hurricanes, tornadoes, raging forest fires, cities with average temperatures over 120 degrees, water so acidic as to harm marine life, and starvation over much of the world.
President Biden tells Americans in his usual “tough talk” that climate change is the “number one issue facing humanity.” The climate crisis poses “the existential threat to human existence as we know it.” He promises to save the world, “We are going toget rid of fossil fuels,”andthe United States will be net-zero carbon emissions by 2050.
To address these frightful events, Biden ordered shutting down all oil and gas pipelines. He denies investors the capital needed to produce fossil fuels while regulating almost every manufactured product, from cars to light bulbs. He spends trillions of dollars on green energy in a highly inflationary economy to create an environmental nirvana free of climate anxiety. Additionally, Biden assures the 84% of young people who currently experience climate anxiety that they can live for free in their parent’s basement for life or until their parents die. At that time, however, they will have to move out of the house since it will be forfeited to the government for back taxes that their parents could not pay.
As fossil fuels are eliminated from the economy, Biden is shocked at how quickly greenhouse gas emissions decline. After several months of no gasoline, the number of cars driving on the road drops from 276 million to under 10 million. The only exceptions to the ban on fossil fuels will be for the wealthy. Since they are not pilots or drivers, they will be allowed continued use of their private jets and limousines by using carbon credits that are dramatically cheap since no one else needs them. Unfortunately, the wealthy will only be allowed to heat and cool 45 rooms in their massive estates.
The remaining supplies of food, water, high-value goods, and servants will be reserved for high-ranking federal officials.
The radical Left environmental groups will still complain Biden’s actions are not enough to stop climate change since the other nations of the world will continue to use fossil fuels. Biden will soon recognize that even if he was the son of Obama, there is nothing reasonable he can do to tame the rise of the oceans and heal the planet. That was all attempted by the prior “god.” This realization leaves the radical environmental groups in depression. They know Biden can do the impossible since he shakes hands with invisible persons, believes the U.S. has the fastest growing economy in the world, and has the Easter bunny rescuing him from pontificating about his delusions in public.
Biden realizes his term as president is ending and that He has very little support from ordinary Americans who work daily. Intuitively, Biden realizes that, luckily, these voters will disappear without food and shelter before the next election. But he still has a problem appeasing the radical Left. The radical Left environmentalists are as obsessed about eliminating fossil fuels as the Progressives are about eliminating Trump. His best hope of being a transformative president is to do whatever the radical Left wants to be accomplished.
Unfortunately, President Biden, the Left views your presidency as a series of half measures, perhaps only quarter measures. Scranton Joe, you can prove them wrong. Keep up hope; a delusional mind can find reality in strange ways.
A few days ago, I found an embargoed copy of the Left’s Manifesto on Climate Change. The Left intends to primary you for the 2024 Democrat nomination. The radical Left has an election year ticket in waiting. It consists of “Cackling Kamala ” and “Electric Car Pete.” Their platform will be to do whatever the Left wants to be done. Since they have fewer ideas than you, Mr. President, following the demands of the radical Left will be easy for them.
Here is how you outsmart Cackling Kamala and Electric Car Pete. You have done so much for the radical Left; it is unfair of them to deprive you of the opportunity to fulfill your dream of being the newest carving on Mount Rushmore. So, I am giving you this draft of an Executive Order that meets all the desires of the radicals. Since you are very good at taking credit for the work of others, I suggest you get a pen, a lot of ink, and a giant roll of two-ply toilet paper. Then, start writing an Executive Order that promises to achieve all of the Left’s dreams.
Joe Biden quickly scribbles:
“I, Joe Biden, President of the country I am in, do hereby order that all my cabinet Secretary Office Boys, girls, LGBTQIA+ and every person, of every gender, who answers to every pronoun, subject to my rule, except illegals, obey the following commands:
- All commercial air travel is prohibited since starving peons do not need peanuts.
- All travel by automobile is prohibited except for Democrat office holders, staff, the wealthy who can afford limousines and the radical Left that is impatient with traffic.
- All government officials are prohibited from carrying the Buttigieg bicycle and dropping it off a few blocks from his office, so he looks like he commutes by bike. (In a bracketed note, Biden writes, “Let Buttigieg walk. He is so dumb he will never figure out where to go.”)
- The wealthy are directed to living in beach houses, even during floods. The environmentalists get the land for conservation purposes after the house is washed away by the sea.
- All new houses and apartments must be under 500 square feet, provided they have more than three occupants.
- All existing houses and apartments over 1000 square feet must be converted to shared living quarters, with illegal immigrants having priority over all, including the owners. This provision shall not apply to Democrats willing to exhibit hypocrisy in public and be criticized by conservative media if any remains. Demonstrated hypocrisy reveals leadership.
- All office buildings must remove elevators since walking stairs is healthy.
- Buildings in the winter will be warmed by body heat and cooled by paper fans in the summer for as long as there is paper.
- All employees are prohibited from touching materials used to make products for sale in commerce. Anyone dumb enough to work is ordered into permanent quiet quitting.
- Since the federal government has the right and obligation to protect itself, all money remaining in the United States is the property of the socialist chairman of the Senate Budget Committee and the mouth from the Bronx. (Biden thinking, “Hopefully, this shuts them up, now they can be what they have always wanted to be – rich socialists.”)
- All 6000 products made from oil and gas are hereby banned.”
Attached is a partial list of just 144 of the 6000 banned items, so the public has some idea of what illegal items are made from oil or gas. Remember that a 42 –gallon barrel of oil creates 19.4 gallons of gasoline. The remainder (over half) is used to make the following unneeded products that citizens may not realize are destroying the planet:
Adhesives, Air mattresses, Ammonia, Antifreeze, Antihistamines, Antiseptics, Artificial limbs, Artificial turf, Asphalt, Aspirin, Awnings, Backpacks, Balloons, Ballpoint pens, Bandages, Beach umbrellas, Boats, Cameras, Candies and gum, Candles, Car battery cases, Car enamel, Cassettes, Caulking, CDs/computer disks, Cell phones, Clothes, Clothesline, Clothing, Coffee makers, Cold cream, Combs, Computer keyboards, Computer monitors, Cortisone, Crayons, Credit cards, Curtains, Dashboards, Denture adhesives, Dentures, Deodorant, Detergent, Dice, Dishwashing liquid, Dog collars, Drinking cups, Dyes, Electric blankets, Electrical tape, Enamel, Epoxy paint, Eyeglasses, Fan belts, Faucet washers, Fertilizers, Fishing boots, Fishing lures, Floor wax, Food preservatives, Footballs, Fuel tanks, Glue, Glycerin, Golf bags, Golf balls, Guitar strings, Hair coloring, Hair curlers, Hand lotion, Hearing aids, Heart valves, House paint, Hula hoops, Ice buckets, Ice chests, Ice cube trays, Ink, Insect repellent, Insecticides, Insulation, iPad/iPhone, Kayaks, Laptops, Life jackets, Light-weight aircraft, Lipstick, Loudspeakers, Lubricants, Luggage, Model cars, Mops, Motorcycle helmets, Movie film, Nail polish, Noise insulation, Nylon rope, Oil filters, Packaging, Paint brushes, Paint roller, Pajamas, Panty hose, Parachutes, Perfumes, Permanent press, Petroleum jelly, Pharmaceuticals, Pillow filling, Plastic toys, Plastics, Plywood adhesive, Propane, Purses, Putty, Refrigerants, Refrigerator linings, Roller skate wheels, Roofing, Rubber cement, Rubbing alcohol, Safety glasses, Shampoo, Shaving cream, Shoe polish, Shoes/sandals, Shower curtains, Skateboards, Skis Soap dishes, Soft contact lenses, Solar panels, Solvents, Spacesuits, Sports car bodies, Sunglasses, Surf boards, Swimming pools Synthetic rubber Telephones Tennis rackets Tents Tires Tool boxes Tool racks, Toothbrushes, Toothpaste, Transparent tape, Trash bags, Truck and automobile parts, Tubing, TV cabinets, Umbrellas, Unbreakable dishes, Upholstery, Vaporizers, Vinyl flooring, Vitamin capsules, Water pipes, Wind turbine blades, and Yarn.
Pretty much everything produced by man includes or requires petroleum products. By banning the production of oil and gas and the products made from it, the Biden administration will achieve the Left’s goal of net zero greenhouse gas emissions. These reductions will be in the name of equity and will allow poorer countries to pollute more.
President Biden banning all oil and gas production will make you the most Transformative President in U.S. history. You will achieve every goal of the radical Left. By prohibiting these 6000 products and items, there will be little work, food, entertainment, or travel for people. The population will decrease, but that is good news since it will allow you to distribute more money to those remaining. Please spread the money around quickly before the mint runs out of paper and ink and the grid goes down.
If anything fails, don’t worry, there will be almost nothing to purchase, so putting food money in bank accounts will be a “futile and stupid gesture.”
After a while, there will be massive food shortages and a significant loss of life; that is the goal of the radical environmental movement. One of its great thinkers, Jacque Yves-Cousteau, stated – “It’s terrible to have to say this. The world population must be stabilized and to do that we must eliminate 350,000 people per day. This is so horrible to contemplate that we shouldn’t even say it. But the general situation in which we are involved is lamentable.”
Finally, without Americans having access to industrial production, energy, and food, China will be the world superpower since it will not follow the U.S.’s lead in stopping climate change. Ignore the grim news; however, this is a fabulous opportunity for your son, Hunter. He will likely receive a massive bonus from the Chinese for giving you sound advice on transforming the U.S. By taking Hunter’s advice, Mr. President, you will be in all the history books as the most transformative ruler in the history of the world. You will exceed Nero; it took him fourteen years to collapse the Roman Empire. You will collapse the U.S. in four, a remarkable record, one worthy of a Nobel Prize. Since Obama proved achievement is no longer required, which Prize would you like, Sir?
Bye, Bye American Pie, there is nothing more to divide!