Sheilla Qualls: A Letter to Our Sons

Contact Your Elected Officials

Dear Sons,

Even though youโ€™ve heard this all before, I canโ€™t risk leaving a stone unturned. Your lives are too precious to me. Iโ€™m writing to tell you the truth about racism after the tragic, unjustifiable death of George Floyd.

Iโ€™m heartbroken not only for his family but also for you. As I watched him cry for help and saw him struggle to breathe, I couldnโ€™t help but think that couldโ€™ve been you.

Was it injustice? No doubt. Was it because he was Black? If a white man had been arrested for trying to pass a counterfeit $20 bill, heโ€™d most likely still be alive today. So I feel compelled to remind you that skin color matters.

I fear youโ€™ll think Iโ€™ve played a cruel joke by duping you into believing your outer layer doesnโ€™t matter.

I fear Iโ€™ve been naive. Skin color matters, and I struggle with feeding you the narrative that it doesnโ€™t.

I want to tell you the truth about racism after the death of George Floyd.

Iโ€™ve never pretended it doesnโ€™t exist. Iโ€™ve felt its sting. Iโ€™ve been trailed through stores. Shop owners have asked to search my purse. Tellers have eyed me with suspicion and scrutinized me when Iโ€™ve withdrawn my own money from the bank. I know humiliation. We all have prejudices. Itโ€™s part of our humanness.

Hereโ€™s the truth

Hereโ€™s the truth: You canโ€™t let the actions of a few color your view of the world. George Floydโ€™s death was unjust, tragic and unnecessary. But I donโ€™t believe most people are racist. Make no mistake. Thereโ€™s a fringe element who may want to do you harm, and you could fall victim to senseless violence.

And for that, Iโ€™m sorry. Iโ€™m sorry youโ€™ll have to work so hard to prove your intelligence and worthโ€“perhaps even your humanityโ€“because of the black skin that houses your intellect and hearts. Iโ€™m sorryโ€“in light of the atmosphere we live in todayโ€“you may feel your preparation for life as Black men has been inadequate.

We tried to equip you with tools for success, great lessons for any young man, but especially critical for you. We coached you on societyโ€™s unwritten rules for Black men. What you should and shouldnโ€™t wear, how to treat others, how to conduct yourselves with dignity, and how to speak properly and confidently.

Remember the times you accused us of trying to โ€œcontrol your livesโ€? Our instructions, dear sons, were for a time such as this.

People will judge you based on the color of your skin. Your reaction could be the difference between life and death.

Despite what we know about our countryโ€™s history, weโ€™ve taught you to assume the best of people. Iโ€™ve quelled my doubts and encouraged you look deeper than color. Was I wrong?

How can I continue to tell you race doesnโ€™t matter after the death of George Floyd, which probably occurred because he was Black? How can I tell you race doesnโ€™t matter when youโ€™ve been repeatedly pulled over by police who are โ€œrandomlyโ€ checking vehicles in the predominately white areas weโ€™ve lived in?

Youโ€™ve faced little discrimination in your short lives, and Iโ€™m thankful. But youโ€™re not immune to it. So donโ€™t be fooled into thinking you are. Some of the devastating stories weโ€™ve seen in the media from time to time couldโ€™ve easily been about you but for the grace of God.

I fear you could become a hashtag

I fear you could become a hashtag, your name a symbol of injustice. It doesnโ€™t matter that youโ€™re from a two-parent home. It doesnโ€™t matter that youโ€™re from a middle class family, articulate, and educated because the first thing people see is the color of your skin.

Regardless of the poor behavior of a few, all white people arenโ€™t โ€œthe enemy.โ€ Donโ€™t let anyone try to convince you they are. Itโ€™s not true. For the few times Iโ€™ve felt discrimination, I can tell you of hundreds of other times when white people have been loving, fair-minded and sacrificial for me.

Know history, but donโ€™t let it cripple you. A victim mentality will poison your mind and limit you economically and emotionally.

I wish I could return you to the safety and comfort of the womb. But I canโ€™t. This is your experience. Your story to tell. Sifting through this confusion and anger may hurt. Use my wisdom as an ointment to calm the irritation. And make no mistake about where I stand.

First, youโ€™re responsible for yourselves, your families, and your community. Second, youโ€™re bound by the rules of society and the law. I know youโ€™ll respect that. Iโ€™ve raised you to be men of character and integrity.

Pray all goes well

Most police officers want to help you. Be wise and remember what weโ€™ve taught you. If the police pull you over, respect them. They deserve it. Comply with their wishes and pray all goes well. If it doesnโ€™t, I hope Iโ€™ve armed you with the tools to fight ignorance with grace.

Your father and I believe America is the best place in the world for you. As you transition into adulthood, youโ€™ll have an opportunity to be beacons of hope and examples of what is best about America by treating everyoneโ€“regardless of race, social stature, or religious affiliationโ€“with respect, compassion, and dignity

Judge others by their character not their skin color. For those who canโ€™t see past your skin color, itโ€™s their loss. Those who look deeper than skin color will see what I see. I couldnโ€™t be prouder of the men youโ€™re becoming. So allow others to see the fullness of America by being the best you can be.

Love,
Mom

Read original article on AlphaNews.com

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