Twas the night before Trumpmas, when all through the house
No swamp creatures were stirring, not even Swallwell, that louse.
On TV Trump was berated by libs so unaware,
In hopes that Gavin soon would be there.
The Trumps were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of third quarter GDP danced in their heads!
Melania in her nightgown, and Trump in his MAGA cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
Trump sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window he flew like a flash,
And threw open the curtains with daring panache.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Blinded the eyes of the fake-news reporters below.
When, what to Trump’s piercing eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight democrats in fear.
With a little old driver, so lively and chipper,
He knew in a moment it must be St. Gipper.
Meaner than possums his liberals they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name,
“Now, Nadler! now, Presley! now, Omar and Talib!
On, Pelosi!, on Schiff! on Schumer! and Green!
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!
Now slink away! slink away! Slink away all!”
Worthless, empty, hungry, this swarm of locusts they flutter,
With empty heads and open mouths, it’s lies that they mutter.
So up to the White house-top the Democrats they flew,
With a sleigh full of promises, and Ronald Reagan too.
And then, in a twinkling, Trump heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each liberal’s hoof.
As he drew in his hand, and was turning around,
When down the chimney Reagan came with nary a sound.
Dressed in a suit from Bill Blass, from his head to his toes,
An ensemble he completed with a Trump tie he chose.
A bundle of accomplishments he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a leader, not some partisan hack.
His eyes — how they twinkled! his smile how quick!
His cheeks were like roses, his hair extra slick!
His kind, gentle, strong face gave off a slight glow,
And the gleam of his teeth was as bright as the snow.
A mouthful of jellybeans he chewed with such relish,
His legacy secure, his success he needn’t embellish.
He had a broad, honest face and wide straight shoulders,
That heaved up and down when he laughed like two boulders.
He was healthy and trim, his right jolly, old self,
And Trump laughed when he saw him, having expected an elf.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave Trump to know progressives were nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And laid out the presents; including a mug shot of Comey that jerk.
And making his fingers into the shape of a V,
He rose from the floor and into the chimney.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a few jolts,
And away those lying beasts they flew, that party of dolts!
But Trump heard him exclaim, all the while grinning,
“MERRY TRUMPMAS TO ALL, AND TO MAGA MORE WINNING!”
© 2025 North American Rights
Stephen Piccirillo © 2025
