In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicks: . . . And Other Complaints from an Angry Middle-Aged White Guy

A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar.  It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills.  He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that’s when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID.  At first the old sea captain just laughed.  But the guy with the twinkle in his ear asked again.  At this point it became apparent that he was serious.  Dan Haggerty’s dad fired back, “You’ve got to be kidding me, son.”  The bartender replied, “New policy.  Everyone has to show their ID.”  Then I watched Burl Ives reluctantly reach into his dungarees and pull out his military identification card from World War II.

It’s a sad and eerie harbinger of our times that the Oprah-watching, crystal-rubbing, Whole Foods-shopping moms and their whipped attorney husbands have taken the ability to reason away from the poor schlub who makes the Bloody Marys.  What we used to settle with common sense or a fist, we now settle with hand sanitizer and lawyers.  Adam Carolla has had enough of this insanity and he’s here to help us get our collective balls back. 

In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicksย is Adam’s comedic gospel of modern America. He rips into the absurdity of the culture that demonized the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, turned the nation’s bathrooms into a lawless free-for-all of urine and fecal matter, and put its citizens at the mercy of a bunch of minimum wagers with axes to grind. Peppered between complaints Carolla shares candid anecdotes from his day to day life as well as his pastโ€”Sunday football at Jimmy Kimmel’s house, his attempts to raise his kids in a society that he mostly disagrees with, his big showbiz break, and much, much more. Brilliantly showcasing Adam’s spot-on sense of humor, this book cements his status as a cultural commentator/comedian/complainer extraordinaire.ย 

Editorial Reviews

“Carolla…has keen political instincts and a vision for common sense.” ~ New York Post

“Laugh-out-loud funnyโ€ฆ [Adam Carollaโ€™s] invective-filled screed is often completely politically incorrect, and always completely hilarious.”
~ AOL’s Popeater.co

“If comedy books wereย big-breasted porn stars,ย In Fifty Years We’ll All Be Chicksย would be Christy Canyon.”~ Bill Simmons, ESPN columnist and bestselling author ofย The Book of Basketball

“Adam Carolla is a genius. And no, I’m not kidding.” ~ Jimmy Kimmel

“Reading Adam Carolla is akin to having a horrible illness. Alone with your thoughts, you struggle with whether you want to even go on living. When you’re done, you’re a stronger, better person.” ~ Alec Baldwin

“If youโ€™re a man, read this book.ย  If youโ€™re a man who wearsย turtlenecks, wise up.ย  Nobody thinks that looks good.” ~ Seth MacFarlane

“I donโ€™t know this guy from Adam, but Carollaโ€™s humorโ€”fearlessly crass, shamelessly honest and irresistibly funnyโ€”sucks out like liposuction the ย layers of fatty pride to expose the often warped and wounded psyche buried deep within the modern American male.”
~ Ken Burns

About the Author

Adam Carolla is a radio and television host, comedian, and actor. He is the host of the Adam Carolla Podcast, before which he hosted a weekday morning radio program broadcast from Los Angeles, and syndicated by CBS Radio. Besides these shows, Carolla is well known as the co-host of the radio show Loveline (and its television incarnation on MTV), as the co-creator and co-host of Comedy Central’s The Man Show, and as the co-creator and the performer on Comedy Central and MTV’s Crank Yankers and is a frequent contributor and contestant on ABC’s top-rated program “Dancing with the Stars”. Carolla also starred in, co-wrote, and co-produced the award-winning independent film, The Hammer. He currently lives in Los Angeles with his wife and their two children.

Book Knowledge
Book Knowledgehttps://www.thethinkingconservative.com/previews/books-magazines/
Book Knowledge shares books, magazines and other sources that help us grow in our knowledge of conservatism and help us make a difference in our country.

Columns

Viewers like you

There is no constitutional authority for any spending on public broadcasting โ€“ period. Any questions: See Article 1, Section 8 of the U.S. Constitution.

Trans-wormal

No worm ever said "I am anthropomorphizing, I am a butterfly" to a toad or flock of geese and expected acknowledgement and support.

In Greenlandโ€™s Icy Capital, Past Troubles Haunt Hopes for the Future

As geopolitical realities and ongoing economic growth raise the stakes, U.S. interest in Greenland and the dream of independence may change things in a big way.

How a Chinese Government Statistician Was Forced to Report Fake Data

Chinese local govt employee produced a non-authorized report on bees and was visited by police and threatened with being sent to a mental hospital.

โ€˜This One Time, at Groomer Campโ€™

All Camp Brave Trails programs focus on helping LGBTQ+ youth find what they need most to thrive: their people, their place, and their passion.

News

Kilmar Abrego Garcia Returns to US to Face Criminal Charges

Kilmar Abrego Garcia, a citizen of El Salvador, is on his way back to the US, where he will face criminal charges for allegedly smuggling illegal immigrants.

White House Adviser Gives Update on DOGEโ€™s Future Amid Muskโ€“Trump Spat

A top White House adviser said DOGEโ€™s work will likely continue amid a spat between its former chief, Elon Musk, and President Donald Trump.

Trump Administration Asks Supreme Court to Allow Dismantling of Education Department

Trump admin asked Supreme Court to allow it to resume dismantling U.S. Dept of Education, following a lower courtโ€™s previous order halting process.

FTC Warns of Rising Student Loan Scams, Says Fraudsters Took Millions From Borrowers

FTC is warning borrowers to steer clear of student loan debt-relief scams, after shutting down group of companies that allegedly charged millions in illegal fees and left customers worse off.

Walmartโ€™s Drone Delivery Coming to 5 More US Cities

Walmart is set to launch its drone delivery service in five more U.S. cities: Atlanta, Charlotte, Houston, Orlando, and Tampa, the company.

Court Orders Trump Administration to Restore AmeriCorps Funding to States

Federal court ordered Trump admin to restore AmeriCorps funding to states. The ruling comes as part of a lawsuit filed by 24 states and DC.

Tax Deductions You Can Take Without Itemizing

Itโ€™s not always beneficial to itemize. With IRSโ€™s current standard deduction for 2025 most Americans who canโ€™t itemize go with standard deduction.

US Economy Adds 139,000 New Jobs in May, Topping Market Forecasts

U.S. economy added 139,000 new jobs last month, surpassing economistsโ€™ expectations and indicating U.S. labor market remains in a robust position.
spot_img

Related Articles