Sad? UCSF Scientists Implant First Brain Chip to Make You Happy

5Mind. The Meme Platform
Neural Implants

Melancholy is part of the human condition. Neural implants can fix that.

36 year-old woman who suffered from life-long depression, known only as “Sarah,” appears to have been cured by a digital brain implant. Unable to alleviate her chronic sadness with counseling or pills, she became the first person to overcome the trance of sorrow through transhumanist innovation.

Deep sadness is as old as attachment and loss. Jacob was inconsolable when he thought his son Joseph had been devoured by a wild animal. Gilgamesh called on every creature to mourn when his best friend Enkidu succumbed to an illness sent by the gods. This emotional vulnerability, oftentimes fatal in itself, extends out into the entire mammalian world. The Buddha called it dukka, or “suffering.”

Even sea turtles cry when they crawl out on land. Biologists say the tears merely protect their eyes, but who knows? Maybe it’s heartbroken turtles all the way down.

Soon, we may finally be free. In a purely material world—bereft of miracles, spiritual enlightenment, or divine grace—modern medicine offers better living through brain chips.

Happiness is a Warm Electrode

Last year, scientists at the University of California, San Francisco began their project by mapping the unique neurological correlates of Sarah’s depressive states. They inserted ten electrodes into her brain, and after ten days of “stimulus-response mapping of emotional circuitry”—coupled with non-invasive deep brain stimulation—they were able to identify both the source and the solution.

Science News reports:

During this mapping phase of the experiment, Sarah felt joy when the right spot was stimulated. “I laughed out loud,” she said in the briefing. “This was the first time I had spontaneously laughed and smiled where it wasn’t faked or forced in five years.”

The team concluded that Sarah’s crushing unease came from overactive gamma waves in her amygdala, part of the brain’s reptilian core. They also discovered her sadness could be alleviated by applying electrical stimulation to her striatum, a limbic structure implicated in reward experiences. Striatal activity radiates outward to distant regions of the brain, with varying effects in different people.

Having mapped the territory using machine learning processes, neurosurgeons set to work refashioning the landscape. They installed a Neuropace RNS System on top of the woman’s skull. The device resembles a flat desktop mouse with two wires coming out.

Surgeons inserted these two leads into her gray matter. One electrode detects activity in her amygdala. The other stimulates her striatum in response. Through this closed-loop system, Sarah’s major depressive disorder appears to be healed. It’s another milestone in the merging of frail humans with the indomitable Machine.

“As time has gone on, it’s been this virtuous cycle, a spiral upwards,” Sarah said. “Everything has gotten easier and easier.”

The results of this sixteen month trial were published in Nature Medicine.

By Joe Allen

Read Full Article on SalvoMag.com

Contact Your Elected Officials
The Thinking Conservative
The Thinking Conservativehttps://www.thethinkingconservative.com/
The goal of THE THINKING CONSERVATIVE is to help us educate ourselves on conservative topics of importance to our freedom and our pursuit of happiness. We do this by sharing conservative opinions on all kinds of subjects, from all types of people, and all kinds of media, in a way that will challenge our perceptions and help us to make educated choices.

Anti-MAHA Senator Bill Cassidy in Existential Primary Fight After Squashing Trump Surgeon General Nominee

President Trump pulled the plug on his nominee for surgeon general, but he’s using the setback to help secure a win he covets: the defeat Sen. Bill Cassidy.

The Proposed Trans-Caspian Pipeline Is Shaping Up To Be A Flashpoint

The strategic stakes rise as NATO edges into Russia’s southern periphery via TRIPP, while Turkiye pushes the Trans-Caspian Pipeline Russia opposes.

America’s Best Governor is Ron DeSantis

No Governor has done a better job than Ron DeSantis in Florida. His state is growing, luring people fleeing high-tax states such as New York.

EU Wages Censorship Jihad on Social Media Emojis

Unsatisfied with merely censoring words or phrases, the rulers of a culture that birthed free speech now chase control so far they even police emojis.

Don’t Miss the Jazz Renaissance Happening All Around You, Part 2

Something miraculous is happening in jazz right now, and the wider culture scarcely seems aware of it.

DOJ Sues Minnesota to Block Climate Lawsuit Targeting Energy Companies

The U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) is suing Minnesota over the state’s own climate lawsuit against major energy companies.

Michigan Special Election to Decide Control of State Senate

A special election for Michigan’s 35th State Senate District is set for May 5, to fill a seat that has been vacant since early 2025.

RFK Jr. Announces New Plan to Tackle ‘Overmedicalization’ of Psychiatric Care

The federal government is taking steps to tackle what it described as the overprescribing of antidepressants and other psychiatric drugs.

DOJ Says Upcoming Settlement in Meatpacking Probe Will Help Ease Food Prices 

DOJ said on May 4 that it would soon unveil a “historic settlement that will directly affect the prices of proteins like chicken, pork, and turkey.”

CBP Says It Will Start Issuing First Refunds of Trump Tariffs on May 12

CBP said the first batch of refunds from tariffs imposed by President Trump, which the Supreme Court struck down in February, would begin on May 12.

Trump Says US Economy Is Booming Despite Iran War

President Trump touted his economic policies, from tax cuts and tariffs to deregulation, saying the US is thriving despite conflict in the Middle East.

US to Cut Troops in Germany a ‘Lot Further’ Than 5,000: Trump

President Trump said the U.S. will withdraw more troops from Germany amid disputes with Berlin over the Iran war.

Trump Highlights Senior Tax Relief, Drug Price Cuts at Florida Rally

President Trump addressed approximately 3,000 supporters at The Villages Charter School, highlighting his administration’s efforts to benefit seniors.
spot_img

Related Articles

Popular Categories

MAGA Business Central