Sad? UCSF Scientists Implant First Brain Chip to Make You Happy

5Mind. The Meme Platform
Neural Implants

Melancholy is part of the human condition. Neural implants can fix that.

36 year-old woman who suffered from life-long depression, known only as “Sarah,” appears to have been cured by a digital brain implant. Unable to alleviate her chronic sadness with counseling or pills, she became the first person to overcome the trance of sorrow through transhumanist innovation.

Deep sadness is as old as attachment and loss. Jacob was inconsolable when he thought his son Joseph had been devoured by a wild animal. Gilgamesh called on every creature to mourn when his best friend Enkidu succumbed to an illness sent by the gods. This emotional vulnerability, oftentimes fatal in itself, extends out into the entire mammalian world. The Buddha called it dukka, or “suffering.”

Even sea turtles cry when they crawl out on land. Biologists say the tears merely protect their eyes, but who knows? Maybe it’s heartbroken turtles all the way down.

Soon, we may finally be free. In a purely material world—bereft of miracles, spiritual enlightenment, or divine grace—modern medicine offers better living through brain chips.

Happiness is a Warm Electrode

Last year, scientists at the University of California, San Francisco began their project by mapping the unique neurological correlates of Sarah’s depressive states. They inserted ten electrodes into her brain, and after ten days of “stimulus-response mapping of emotional circuitry”—coupled with non-invasive deep brain stimulation—they were able to identify both the source and the solution.

Science News reports:

During this mapping phase of the experiment, Sarah felt joy when the right spot was stimulated. “I laughed out loud,” she said in the briefing. “This was the first time I had spontaneously laughed and smiled where it wasn’t faked or forced in five years.”

The team concluded that Sarah’s crushing unease came from overactive gamma waves in her amygdala, part of the brain’s reptilian core. They also discovered her sadness could be alleviated by applying electrical stimulation to her striatum, a limbic structure implicated in reward experiences. Striatal activity radiates outward to distant regions of the brain, with varying effects in different people.

Having mapped the territory using machine learning processes, neurosurgeons set to work refashioning the landscape. They installed a Neuropace RNS System on top of the woman’s skull. The device resembles a flat desktop mouse with two wires coming out.

Surgeons inserted these two leads into her gray matter. One electrode detects activity in her amygdala. The other stimulates her striatum in response. Through this closed-loop system, Sarah’s major depressive disorder appears to be healed. It’s another milestone in the merging of frail humans with the indomitable Machine.

“As time has gone on, it’s been this virtuous cycle, a spiral upwards,” Sarah said. “Everything has gotten easier and easier.”

The results of this sixteen month trial were published in Nature Medicine.

By Joe Allen

Read Full Article on SalvoMag.com

Contact Your Elected Officials
The Thinking Conservative
The Thinking Conservativehttps://www.thethinkingconservative.com/
The goal of THE THINKING CONSERVATIVE is to help us educate ourselves on conservative topics of importance to our freedom and our pursuit of happiness. We do this by sharing conservative opinions on all kinds of subjects, from all types of people, and all kinds of media, in a way that will challenge our perceptions and help us to make educated choices.

EU Wages Censorship Jihad on Social Media Emojis

Unsatisfied with merely censoring words or phrases, the rulers of a culture that birthed free speech now chase control so far they even police emojis.

Don’t Miss the Jazz Renaissance Happening All Around You, Part 2

Something miraculous is happening in jazz right now, and the wider culture scarcely seems aware of it.

Hurry up and wait

The Marines are living in tight quarters, fighting monotony, waiting for the call. Their days are filled with the unglamorous work that keeps a force ready.

Rheortic: War of the Words

There is a dangerous shift in this country and it has to do with language, language that reshapes reality in the minds of the people hearing it.

May Day 2026 Exposes Enemies Within  

May 1st is May Day, a day somewhat confusing...

US Attorney Pirro Says Evidence Shows Agent Was Shot by Suspect’s Gun During DC Dinner

The bullet that hit a Secret Service agent just outside of the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner was fired by the gunman, not friendly fire.

OPEC+ Approves 3rd Oil Output Increase as Hormuz Tensions Persist

OPEC+ said Sunday that seven member countries will raise oil output targets by 188,000 barrels per day in June.

4 Noncitizens Charged With Illegally Voting in Federal Elections

Four noncitizen New Jersey residents are charged with illegally voting in federal elections and later lying about it on U.S. citizenship applications.

RFK Jr. Wants to Expand Regenerative Agriculture Pilot Program

RFK Jr. promoted regenerative farming to boost nutrient-rich food, proposing a pilot program that reduces red tape and improves farmer access.

US to Cut Troops in Germany a ‘Lot Further’ Than 5,000: Trump

President Trump said the U.S. will withdraw more troops from Germany amid disputes with Berlin over the Iran war.

Pentagon Forges Partnership With Leading AI Companies

The Pentagon has entered into an alliance with seven leading artificial intelligence (AI) companies, the Department of War announced on May 1.

Trump Announces New 25 Percent Tariff on Cars and Trucks From EU

President Trump plans to raise tariffs on EU-imported cars and trucks to 25%, with the new policy set to take effect next week.

Trump Says Gas Prices Will Fall ‘Like a Rock’ After Iran War Ends

President Donald Trump said on April 30 that gasoline prices would plummet once the war with Iran ends.
spot_img

Related Articles

Popular Categories

MAGA Business Central